To School
by Nienna Tindomerel
Summary: Rated PG for the entrance of my friend. Yes, muy estranjo! Oh, well. 'Ferre, 'Feyrac, Enjy, and Bahorel come to school with me. RR!


Enjolras, Combeferre, Courfeyrac, and Bahorel (YESH! BAHOREL!) come to school with moi. No, Jen, I did not lie to you. Nor to you, Brittany, or Be*ky. Or Chloe. Or anyone else who I have told that I was homeschooled. Aya, just read it, and then review!  
  
*********  
  
One look at that TV in the basement, and Bahorel's eyes lit up.  
  
"Where's the popcorn?" he asked, almost drooling on the carpet floor.  
  
"No popcorn!" I crossed my arms. The basement would be all spattered in grease if I let Bahorel have popcorn.  
  
"Why not?" he pouted, "We had popcorn last time! Can we watch The T-"  
  
"NO, BAHOREL! WE ARE *NOT* GOING TO WATCH MORE LORD OF THE RINGS!" Courfeyrac and Enjolras simultaneously yelled. I sighed. Thank God, last time we watched The Two Towers there was popcorn and Vanilla Coke (stolen from Elyse3 *grin*) all over my friend's floor.  
  
"I'm doing school, my little darlings!" I said in an overly-endearing way. Enjolras shuddered.  
  
"I'm not little, mademoiselle, and I'm not your," here he winced, "darling."  
  
"Of course you are!" I said, and was about to say more when Combeferre yelled,  
  
"AHEM! It's schooltime!"  
  
"Augh! 8:41! I ish late, I ish late, I ish laaaaate!" I howled, shoving a DVD into the DVD player. English.  
  
"AIEEE! I need my composition! It's on the computer! Thankfully, the computer is on! AHA! Here it is. . .open document. . .dementedsailor. . . yes, open that! Erg. . .okay. 'HELLO! WHOO-HOO! I'M ON AN ATLANTIC OCEAN HIGH! GO ME! Oh. Sorry. . . we're somewhere out in the said-above ocean. I'm seasick. Pardon th-'"  
  
"Hey, we don't need to hear that, in case it has something inappropriate." Combeferre narrowed his eyes at me. I stuck my tongue out at him, and said,  
  
"I don't write things inappropriate!"  
  
"Lemme see." Combeferre shoved me away from my (prreesssiousss) computer, and read. He coughed, then turned and made a fake puking noise. "EW! You sicko!"  
  
"What? What'd I do?"  
  
Combeferre shuddered. "This is evil, you deranged little girl! Okay, I'll read it aloud."  
  
(A/N: Yup, this really was my English composition. When I wrote it, I was extremely hyper and très annoyed at the same time. It was supposed to be about "a crew member of Christopher Columbus sailing to the new world and who is writing a letter to their family". I did that, but, of course, all my compositions must have insanity. It *is* kinda gross. You can skip over it, but I want it to be made know to the public, because not many people have dubbed me insane, and I am striving for people to say it. Please, people! I am quite mad! Tell me I am insane! And then I shall stop writing insane parodies and go back to angst.)  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~COMPOSITION~~~~~~  
  
Combeferre continued: "'HELLO! WHOO-HOO! I'M ON AN ATLANTIC OCEAN HIGH! GO ME! Oh. Sorry. . . we're somewhere out in the said-above ocean. I'm seasick. Pardon the brown blotch on this. It's my barf. Aah. . . smells like dried biscuits. Oh, you didn't need to know that? Sorry.  
  
Everyone else is being an entire sea monster. They complain about the food, and their seasickness, and of the seagull who ate Grapefruit's lunch money. No, Grapefruit wasn't too happy about that, were you, Fruity-Tooty? OW! Well! You didn't have to hit me for that! Wait, what's lunch money? What's lunch? And what's money? You know I *never* complain, do I Mommy? *cough, cough* Ahem. Columbus says that I'm a pain in his rump-rump. Mommy, what's a rump-rump? I'm one of the best crew members! He says I should be eaten by one of those sea monsters out there. Well, he's a pain in my washing machine! What's that?  
  
I had fun swimming today. There was this big grey thing that I rode on, it had two black buttons in the middle of its big squishy greyness, and below the buttons were many rows of beautiful, pearly pins. I loved them! I wanted to touch them! The other sailors bellowed at me to get back on the ship, but only a rump-rump would do that! (See, I have expanded my vocabulary!) Who would want to scrub the poop off of the deck? Although I've never seen Grapefruit use the deck, it's the poopdeck, so it must have poop! Columbus was ANGRY. Grapefruit said that I was too nïave to know what His Royal Greyness was. What's nïave? Columbus said that I was just stupid, at the level of a three-year-old. Um, by the way, Mommy, what's a three- year-old? Just wondering. Okay! I'm brainwashed! Hehe! Get it? WASHED??! I'm out in the ocean! Okay, bye Mommy!'"  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~END OF COMPOSITION~~~~~~~~~  
  
Combeferre looked at me. "Ew, you're nasty, you demented evil girl!" Enjolras got this glint in his eye.  
  
"Oh, no. . .err. . .I'm sorry, guys!"  
  
"Bring her down!" Enjolras commanded.  
  
"ERP!" I shrieked and bolted upstairs with Bahorel, Enjolras, Courfeyrfac, and Combeferre on my tail. Just then, the doorbell rang.  
  
/What the heck?/ I thought. /Who could be here on a Tuesday morning?/ I ran to the front door and opened it, to see. . .a giant Legolas!  
  
"AAH! Help!" I yelled and ran the other way, bumping into Enjolras. "Erp!" I ran back to the monumental Legolas, which, I found out, wasn't Legolas at all. It was just a Legolas poster. And behind it was one of my best friends. I remembered that school was canceled. YAY FOR SNOWDAYS!  
  
"Merillyn! Help me get rid of them!" I motioned to the foursome advancing menacingly on me.  
  
"Okay, this will be very easy. Watch the master!" She pused the poster against the wall with her hands and promptly began kissing it. Over. And over. And over.  
  
"AHHHH!!!!" The Amis screeched as they ran downstairs again. As they went down, I heard Bahorel say,  
  
"You know, Enjolras, you look rather like that guy on the paper."  
  
"SHUT UP, BAHOREL!!"  
  
Merillyn grinned.  
  
"Erpsies, it wash fun! But who'd be afraid of Legolas?"  
  
"No one. . .MY POSTER!" I lunged for the poster.  
  
"Erp!" she tore down the street, the poster billowing behind her like a pretty cape.  
  
I rushed out after her, realizing too late that I had no socks or shoes on, and that I had a t-shirt on. It was -4 degrees, err, that is, windchill.  
  
I tromped back inside and looked for Enjolras, Bahorel, Combeferre, and Courfeyrac.  
  
They had disappeared.  
  
Oh well!  
  
My life was better without them. Instead, I just write fanfics about them, and hopefully, I will complete 8th grade, and live excitingly ever after.  
  
**** Yes, tell me I'm insane! FLAAAME MEEEE!!!!!!! Please? Okay, thanxsies! Yes, you too, Merillyn! 


End file.
